


Shit's weird: the novel

by zampahne



Category: Elder Scrolls, Elder Scrolls V: Skyrim
Genre: Action/Adventure, College of Winterhold Questline, Daedra Worship, Dragonborn Questline - Freeform, Elder Scrolls Lore, F/M, Fish out of Water, Friends to Lovers, Lazy ass Dragonborn, Magic, Multi, Slow Burn, Slow friendship, alternative universes, dumb dunmer puns, dumb humour alltogether, main character doesn't know about Skyrim, main character has her phone, not a Mary Sue or Self Insert, realistic weapons and fighting
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-05-30
Updated: 2018-11-17
Packaged: 2019-05-16 03:06:10
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 4
Words: 21,905
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14803172
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/zampahne/pseuds/zampahne
Summary: Isabelle Pace, a broke college student that works minimum wage as a waitress, goes out jogging one day only to find herself in a whole new universe of fantasy and magic named Skyrim. By sheer luck she meets Ganus Valen, an alie-ELF- that promises to help her go back home. However the world of Skyrim is much different from anything that Iz knows and her ali-ELVEN- companion turns out to be much more than meets the eye.





	1. God is eating popcorn and laughing at my misery

**Author's Note:**

> Hey everyone! I've finally got around finishing some art for this fic and I'm happy to announce that Ganus is officially done! You can see the painting here: 
> 
> http://awesomeblogwellnotreally.tumblr.com/post/180865693277
> 
> Finger's crossed my lazy ass won't forget Isabelle.

It was after awhile when I noticed that something seemed to be off about the forest. First thing was that the music from my headphones stopped and when I picked up my phone to see what’s wrong I saw that I had no internet connection, nor nothing for that matter. Which was weird because I’m sure I wasn’t that deep into the forest. Damn it, I take the same path during my daily jog and no matter how far I go, I’ve never lost signal. And I’m sure I’ve taken the path I always take cause there’s only one path. Second thing was the snow. Now, correct me if I’m wrong but I’m fucking sure there’s no fucking snow in Northern Maryland midsummer.

I took off my headphones and put them back in my backpack, turned on the GPS of my phone and began walking back from where I came. Perhaps I really did take the wrong path? No, it can’t be. I’ve lived near this forest all my life, I know it. And the snow? No.

The more I walked back the worse it became. The snow multiplied and I was now walking on top of it effectively ruining my running shoes. It was getting colder and colder by the minute so much that I was shivering even when I put on my leather jacket. A strange noise made by an animal which I did not recognize came from my right making me jump. Where the hell was I? I stared at the screen of my phone, but alas it never gained its connection. I was lost.

The sun started setting down and with it so did my hope. My fingers had gone numb, the coldness claiming them as well as my feet. I was now knee deep in snow and I couldn’t see the end of the forest even though I should have been back in the city by now. I looked at my phone again and tried to call somebody. Ryan? No connection. Mary? No connection. Mom? No connection? Dad? No connection.

I was walking with my phone’s flashlight lighting the path when the first sob spilled from my lips. My throat quenched and tears began filling my eyes, whether they were from the cold or from panic, I did not know. I continued walking like that, sobbing quietly with each and every step. My legs lost their numbness and turned it into pain and with my next step I fell to the ground, helpless , alone and cold. 

Where was I? Where were everyone, where was the city, why was it so cold and how-

I looked at the sky and noticed all the stars than shone on it and that’s when I realized how truly lost I was.

There were two moons.

Before my panic attack could fully steep in a sudden movement caught my eye. It came from my right. I tried to stand up but my legs quivered like jelly and I fell back down.  
“Is someone there? Help!” I cried out, my sobbing turning my words into an incoherent wail. I cried out again but another sob cut my sentence short. I looked at the ground, at the shining white snow under my feet and the fallen leaves around me. I could not make another step. Is this where I die?

“Hello?” a voice yelled back. I immediately looked up trying to find its source but it was too damn dark. I lit up the area around me with my phone but still found nothing.

“I’m here! Help!” I yelled again. Rustling, snow moving, tree branches breaking. A small light moved to my right. It approached, levitating in the air like a small star had fallen from the sky. I cried out again and heard the same voice coming from it.

“I’m coming.”

A figure walked from the forest, ominously tall, dark and broad shouldered. I lit it up with my phone but it hid its face with a hand and grumbled deeply so I put it down. It walked towards me hastily and grabbed my shoulder with a large, warm hand.

“Bvek, you must be freezing. I haven’t seen even nords walk out dressed like that. Come on, get up.” A low, deep male voice dragged like gravel under a tire. He offered his hand to me. I took it and tried to get up but my legs gave up and I ended up falling again. Luckily the man saw that and helped me get up by placing my hand around his shoulders and putting another one on my side. I walked, no, he dragged me deeper into the forest. The man did not speak save from the occasional “Come on” and “Just a bit more.”

We walked into a small clearing looking into a mountain, and into that mountain- a cave. There were no mountains where I lived.

The man dragged me into the cave where I saw a small camp set up at the entrance. There was a camp fire churning with light and warmth, with a branch bearing a large stab of meat on it. A one person tent made from what looked like leather stood at the side and just besides it the corpse of an elk that was missing its stomach. The sight made my own stomach turn, but the promise of warmth that radiated from the fire quickly overpowered my focus and I nearly forgot that there was a dead mutilated animal.

The man helped me sit on the ground by the fire, walked by the tent and started rummaging through it. I focused on the only source of warmth, pulling myself as close as I could to the fire, not caring if I burned myself. Atleast I’d be warm then. My fingers started stinging, an annoying but welcomed pain that meant that atleast I would not freeze to death tonight.

“Try not setting yourself on fire just yet.” The man spoke as he walked out of the tent and that’s when I saw him for the first time.

I screamed and almost fell into the fire.

He looked like a fucking demon, with dark grey skin and blazing red -fucking red!- eyes that stood unnatural on his face, making him appear like a hybrid of a Dante Aligeri demon and an alien deer. Long elfish ears struck from his head with multiple piercings on them. His face was rough and bore deep wrinkles above his eyebrows, however he did not look past his late twenties. The fire lingered ominously over his angled features making him appear like he was stuck in a perpetual scowl. Two purple strips ran through the sides of his face, tattoos that almost merged with his skin. His hair was long and tied back into a pony tail, the lower part of it shaved, displaying the intricate designs over his scalp. 

He wore what looked like armor, light beige in color that appeared to be the bones of an insectoid creature too large for comfort. On his left side the hilt of an ebony sword hung from his belt, among a large hunter dagger and a leather satchel. He was holding a deep red cloth that looked very much like the one he had poking under the armor.  
The demon furrowed his eyebrows and groaned, his strange voice making it sound like the roar of some animal.

“That’s breton hospitality I guess.” He sat beside me by the fire, threw the cloth around my shoulders and began rolling the meat around the camp fire carefully checking whether it was burned. The cloth, that actually happened to be a cloak, smelled of ash, forest and something I could not recognize, a spice of some sort. I wrapped it around myself and stared at the weird creature next to me.

“What….” I began but could not finish the sentence. How do I ask him what sort of creature he is without sounding offensive? He already looked annoyed with my reaction.

“Hmm?”

“I’m sorry but…what are you?” 

This produced a reaction that I’d find funny was I not scared off my mind. His eyes widened, his left eyebrow flew high into his forehead and his mouth curled into a snarl.

“Are you serious?” 

“Yes. Sorry.” I apologized automatically.

“ How long did you lay in that snow?”

“Long enough to be seeing things I guess. Where am I?”

“Crystaldrift cave, in the Rift.”

I looked at him with a dull look. 

“Near lake Honrich.” He continued. “Close to Riften.” He sighted. 

“What country?” I barely found the words.

“Skyrim.”

“What continent?”

“Tamriel.”

“What…planet..?”

At that his mouth gaped wide. He closed his eyes and shook his head. I felt the sobs from earlier come back into my throat, filling it with pain so much I could not breathe.

“Please tell me you’re joking.” I begged.

“Why would I be?”

My heart began pounding in my chest, hurting and threatening to burst right through it. My vision began blurring.

“I…Are you an actor? Please, this is not fun.”

“I am absolutely serious…Sera? Hey, whats-“

And this is when everything turned black.

 

 

I woke up in pain. My back was aching, my legs hurt and the side of my head pounded with a headache that was clearly set to finish me off. I grumbled, still sleepy. The ground under me was cold and rocky. Did I roll out of bed or something? The nightmare I had that night reached my mind and made me visibly shiver. I remembered going out for my daily afternoon jog, and then the creepy stuff happened. I couldn’t even remember coming home. A huge chunk of time seemed to be missing from my memory which was very, very concerning. I lifted up my arm searching for my phone, if by any chance I’ve dragged it with me to the ground only to touch something that was definitely not a phone.

I got up with a scream, looked around me and then screamed again.

The nightmare. Me being lost, a demon dragging me into a cave, speaking about places I did not recognize. It was still happening.

“Could you scream quieter?” the figure besides me moved only to reveal the flame eyed demon. We were inside the tent under covers made of furs. Furs that smelled of wet dog and iron. Real furs.

I got up and fastly escaped the tent. I looked outside the cave only to see a frozen forest that I did not know, with mountains in the background that shouldn’t be there.  
“No, no, no, this is not happening!” I whispered. A heavy hand grabbed my shoulder and turned me around to a sullen grey face and hooded inferno eyes.

“Look, why don’t you sit down, calm down for a second and tell me what the fuck is happening here?” the creature groaned, his voice deeper than grating, unlike any other I’ve heard.

I followed what he told me and sat down where he had dragged me last night, by the campfire that was now but a rack of burned wood and rocks. I saw my phone lying near it along with my bag, took it in my hands and checked it fastly. No signal. Of course. The dead deer was dragged outside the cave, the blood trail still visible on the ground. I shivered, even though the red cloak he gave me yesterday was still around me.

“Well?” he sat down placing his elbows on his knees, these damned menacing eyes staring right through me.

“I think I’m dreaming. I have to be.” The sentence came out as nearly a whisper, thin and vulnerable like a cobweb. 

“And why’s that?”

“This.” I motioned towards the entrance of the cave. “Should not exist. You should not exist.”

“Xenophobic remarks aside why shouldn’t Skyrim exist again?”

“No! I did not mean it like that! I meant…Look, I’m not supposed to be here. I was running in the forest, like every day and everything was normal. Then suddenly there was snow everywhere and you… And the moons! There are two moons! And, and the whole Skyrim talk. I’ve never heard of a place called Skyrim existing in Maryland-“  
“Maryland?”

“Yes! USA! America!” my hands were now moving frantically through the air around me threatening to slay any bug that might have the misfortune of flying past me.

“Never heard of it.” The grey skinned creature puffed. I sighted in defeat and gazed at my still wet and soggy running shoes. We stood like that, silent and still, when he got up and came back with a loaf of bread and cheese. He divided the bread into two, as well as the cheese and offered me a piece of each. We ate in silence. 

“I’m headed towards Riften. You can come and see if anybody’s heard of this America there.” He finally spoke when he finished his breakfast. I nodded.  
“Thank you. And thank you for saving me yesterday too.”

“You’re welcome. I don’t think I catched your name from all the screaming last night.

“Sorry.”

“Okay Sorry, nice to meet you.”

“No I-“ a chuckle escaped my lips involuntarily. “My name’s Isabelle Pace, but you can call me just Iz.”

“And I’m Ganus Valen , Just Iz.”

The chuckle from earlier turned into a small bell of a laugh. Ganus stood up and started pulling the tent apart, strapping the skin into a huge travel bag that I did not see earlier.

“Are you from Skyrim, Ganus?” I asked him, more comfortable now. 

“By Azura, no. I’m from Blacklight, Morrowind.” He checked the contents of his bag and then laughed at my empty look. “It’s the neighboring country, east of Skyrim. Tell me, where’s that America of yours?”

“Sounds funny.” He mused” Iuu-Es-Ay.”

“It’s an abbreviation; the full name is United States of America.”

“Are there any other countries on that continent?”

I shrugged.  
“ Mexico south, Canada north.”

“Just like I thought. Never heard of them. Come on.”

He threw the bag around his shoulders and patted my back with a hand. I got up and followed him out of the cave back into the forest through a small, barely visible path. I tried not to stare at him, but it was hard. Gone were the ominous shadows that the fire made on his face, yet he still remained looking like something that crawled out of a Lovecraftian novel and tried and admittedly failed at taking human form. He, of course, noticed me staring.

“Is there something on my face?”

“No. It’s just…I’ve never seen anything like you.”

“I’ll take that as a compliment.” he hummed.

“Are you a demon?”

“What’s a demon?”

Well damn. How far away was I from home?

“A creature from hell? You know, Satan’s legion and all. Devil?”

This time his look was the dull one.

“No idea what you’re speaking of. I’m a dunmer, or dark elf for the simpletons.”

“Elf? No way! You’re.-“ my sentence fell apart when his red eyes gazed into me and I realized I was about to say something that might’ve been pretty offensive.  
Yet another realization seeped in. Elf. Tolken. Fantasy. Magic. Unknown lands.

“I think I know where I am.” I finally said.

“You do?” my traveling buddy’s eyebrow rocketed high. He had a really good control on this thing.

“Well, it’s a theory, really. First one is the obvious one- that I went running, slipped, hit my head and am currently in comma dreaming all of this. Next one is that I am in an alternative universe.”

Ganus took a deep, slow breath and exhaled through his mouth, his breath waving like smoke in the harsh cold air.

“Are you saying you’re from Oblivion?”

“What is Oblivion?”

“The world outside Nirn, where the domes of the Daedric Princes reside.”

“I don’t know any of these words.”

“Of course you don’t. Allright, let’s go back to basics. Explain to me your “universe”.”

“Well, I haven’t seen enough to draw a comparison. Though we don’t have elves.”

“You don’t have what now?” Ganus stopped in his tracks. “Is this why you look at me like a guar that sat on a staff?”

“Uhh, I guess so? Though I don’t know what I guar is.”

“Sheogorath’s beard, that sounds like a nord’s wet dream.” The elf shivered obviously not from the cold. “Okay, no elves, what now-no magic?”

“You have magic here!?” I screamed, making a step back. Ganus’s eyes stared at mine in disbelief. He took his right hand and turned his palm towards the sky. A small flame appeared out of nothing and danced lazily a few inches from his fingers. My chin might’ve just frozen then and there from hitting the snowy ground so forcefully.

“I’m going crazy. Yes, that’s it. Jesus Christ I’m going crazy.” My hands found their way around my head. Magic. Magic’s real. Fucking-

“Don’t do that just yet.” The elf had closed the distance between us and put his hand on my shoulder. I looked at his arm, his very real-feeling arm with its very realistic calloused fingers and scars all over. My eyes lingered to his face, which was pretty close since he had lowered himself so we can be on the same eye level. I noticed that his eyes were not fully red. He had an iris and a retina that were a shade darker from the rest. He also had scars on his face which I did not notice the previous night- a few smaller ones that looked almost like scratches above and below his right eye as well as a larger one on his upper lip. Though he had wrinkles on his forehead and a bit under his eyes his skin looked weirdly smooth. 

“How old are you?” slipped out of my mouth. I needed a distraction, something, anything really. My mind was not yet ready to sink in the information that magic, fucking magic was-

“Hundred and twenty five.”

My stomach fell to the ground right next to my chin. Ganus, apparently having noticed my absolute bewilderment produced a slight half smile.

“I guess to someone that comes from a world without elves that that’s sort of unordinary?”

“You’ve no idea.” I gathered my wits and shook my head. “ Jesus, you’re old.”

“Name’s Ganus, and I’m not old. In fact I’m pretty young for an elf. We can reach three hundred you know, and I swear to Azura there has to be a Telvanni out there somewhere that’s above a thousand or something.”

“Thousand. A thousand.” My brain bounced the information. Meanwhile Ganus shook my shoulder and began walking through the forest path. I followed.

“So how does a world filled with humans and no magic at all hold up?” the elf questioned as we walked into a small clearing where a bigger path waved, one made of cobblestone. There was a sign made of wood besides it that read “Riften”, “Ivarstead”, “Windhelm” and “Cyrodil”. Places I did not recognize, safe from Riften which Ganus mentioned he was heading towards.

“It just does? Is….magic… so prevalent around here?”

“Not exactly. The nords for instance don’t really like it so you won’t see it around Skyrim that much. They do have the College of Winterhold atleast. But around Morrowind? Oh, we use it. We use it a lot.”

“Nords? Are these the locals?”

“Indeed.”

“You said earlier that a “world with no elves sounds like every nords’ wet dream”. Why is that?”

“History I guess.”

“Does that mean that we’re going to get attacked in Riften? “

A deep throaty laugh escaped the elf’s lips. 

“Oh, no, no. Nords can be big and dumb and all but they aren’t going to start fights with every damn mer that crosses the border. That’d be just stupid.”

“Mer. I guess that means elf?”

“You’re learning. And I guess by the desperate merlessnes of your world that you are not actually a Breton, no?”

“I…think I need a dictionary.”

“Half elf, half human.”

“I look like a half elf to you?” I looked at him again and compared myself with his looks. His hair was raven black and looked normal enough for hair, mine was short, blond and curly. His eyes were red, weird and slightly slanted up, mine were normal and brown. He had grey skin . I had rosy pale skin. Admittedly he was much taller, but then again with my glorious 5’1 so were most people. I did not sport facial tattoos. My ears were perfectly round. We definitely did not look like the same species.

“You’re so short.” The elf mused as a slight smirk appeared on his lips that stretched his scar. I groaned.  
We continued our path with me asking question after question and him explaining each one. He did try asking me more about my world but I told him we’re going to speak about that later. According to him we were to reach Riften in less than two hours, which meant that I had to learn as much as I could about this world before that. I couldn’t calmly walk into a city of a fantasy world not knowing anything about the world I was in. 

What I learned was that I was in Skyrim, the icy province of the nords that was a part of the Imperial Empire. The continent was called Tamriel, but there were also Vvardenfell, which was a part of Morrowind, the Summerset Isles, Yokuda, which apparently did not exist anymore, Atmora which was the place where “humans came from” and the mysterious Akavir about which very little was known. There was more than one race of elves and apparently dunmer were sort of the black sheep of the elven family, having earned their skin and eye color from an old curse by one of their gods, Azura. I did not dare ask how did that work, more so the fact that in here gods apparently exist. Also dunmeri have their own language, along with other types of elves and humans. I also got a fast crash course in said language, or should I say all the cusses Ganus could come up with at the moment. Dude was classy like that I guess.

I also learned a bit about Ganus himself, like that he was born in Blacklight (the capital of the dunmer’s home province), his father is an Ordinator (city guard) and his mother an ashlander (tribeswoman). He lived with them until he tried working as an Ordinator, but found himself bored from the same old place and chose to adventure beyond Blacklight as a mercenary and a part-time adventurer (which he explained was, yes a totally legit way of gaining income and an absolutely normal occupation).  
I was just thanking all the gods I knew for letting me fall into a fantasy world in which English was the norm when we reached the city of Riften. Or the village.  
I did not know what to expect. I mean, Ganus wore a sword and armor, he had a leather tent and hunted, cooked and skinned his own food. He was an elf and magic existed. Of course, of course the world of Tamriel was set in the medieval era. Tolken would be making backflips in his grave yelling “I told you so!”

High stone walls with just the barest hinges of moss surrounded the village. Two guards decked in chainmail and blue stood outside the main gates. Said guards demanded that 40 gold must be payed as tax for entering the city much to Ganus’s displeasure. 

“That’s a fucking shakedown and you know it.” He growled at the woman that was lounging on an impressively large great axe as if it were not a weapon intended for murder. How did that woman stay calm and collected at the sight of demon elf over here baring fangs I could not fathom.

“Jarl’s orders, I’m afraid I can’t do anything. So either pay up or get out.” She answered with a strong accent that sounded like she was a distant cousin of Arnold Schwarzenegger. 

“I was here three days ago and there was no tax.”

“Well now there is.”

“Look. I know Brynjolf and I know the fetcher’s schemes. Let me through and I’m not going to mention this to the other guards.”

This seemed to strike a nerve with the guard because her leisured stance immediately changed into a straightened back and stronger grip on that great axe that seemed very authentic and very sharp. She held the position for a while and then seemed to change her mind, reached towards a satchel on her belt and took out a key with which she opened the main gates.

“Thank you.” Ganus grinned with poison in his voice. 

Inside the walls Riften looked like your typical medieval village, with houses made of wood and roads of cobblestone that turned into bridges of wood once above water. The wood seemed worn and mossy from the constant exposure to the lake it was partially built in, yet it stood strong and sturdy. People walked around dressed in fashion I could only describe as medieval. Long dresses for the women (except those wearing armor) and tunics and pants for men, all I earthy, dull colors. People looked, dare I say, normal. No horns or pointy ears or other otherworldly appendages, though I did saw another elf as we walked by-this time a woman, with tan skin and dark auburn eyes that were too big and slanted up, just like Ganus’s. Besides that all the other people I saw were…very tall. Like, uncomfortably tall. The air smelled of many things- of sewage and fish mostly, but occasionally of something cooking, and a bit of metal. 

We continued on towards a portion of the town that stood somewhat distant from the others like a small island connected to the rest of the village with bridges. That was the market, however shortly after seeing it Ganus opened the door of one of the numerous buildings and walked inside, so I had no time to look around more.  
And inside that building I was met with the strangest sight yet.

A fucking dinosaur.

A living breathing dinosaur with a humanoid scaly body and a fucking goddamn tail.

I’ve really had enough of this world and I’ve been here for half a day.

I could not help but stare at the weird creature as Ganus went straight towards it and payed for a room and it spoke back in perfect English. Another one stood a few meters, cleaning the floor with a broom and humming a melody to itself like that was the most ordinary day in the universe and there was absolutely nothing strange or weird or otherworldly in a human sized reptilian with a homo sapiens anatomy and a tail with horns sticking out of his head. And the most ordinary of ordinary things? The dinosaur behind the counter had breasts. How does that even work on-

No, Liz, you’re not going there, not today, nor any day for that matter. Yeah I was definitely in freaking La La Land. David Icke, you were right all along and I am thoroughly sorry for making fun of the alien reptilian illuminati overlords now.

“You did not say anything about the dinosaurs.” I whispered to Ganus once we walked into our room, which consisted of two beds, a treasure chest ( What? Why?) a bookshelf and two nightstands with a candle on each.

“I think I’ll need a small dictionary from you as well.” He smiled as he strapped the tent out from his backpack and put it aside.

“The lizard people?”

“Argonians? Did I not tell you about Black March?”

“You never mentioned that lizard people exist.”

“Guess I forgot.”The elf shrugged.

“How do you forget about lizard people?”

“It’s a normal thing here, Isabelle. Anyway, I have some business to make in the market and then I’d be going to the Ratway. It’s best you stay here while I do that.”

“What about asking people about America?”

“That’s why I’d be going to the Ratway.”

“I need to come with you then.”

“No.” the elf’s tone dropped a few octaves. “No offence but someone like you walking in there would be like a mudcrap wandering into a nest of cliff racers. It’s where all the scum of the city pours in.”

“I can take care of myself.” I said, even though a little voice in me whispered that things here are perhaps different. Ganus wore a weapon, the guards did as well as the few people I saw on the streets of Riften. Maybe, just maybe these weapons were not just for show and hunting.

“Take this, buy some food and wait in the room. I won’t take long.” He grabbed a small pouch and threw it in the air. When I grabbed it I noticed that it was filled with coins. Before I could object he had already made it out of the room and closed the door.

There I stood with just myself, my bag and a small pouch of coins in an empty room in a fantasy alternative dimension. 

I decided to wait a bit before buying food because I knew that meant talking to the dinosaur lady at the counter and my little mortal psyche was not quite ready for that, so I sat down on the bed beside the window and observed the city below. There was a larger building which I did not notice earlier that was on the cobble stone side of the city. It was the biggest building around and unlike most was made out of stone with blue banners with swords on them hanging from its windows. Besides it on the left stood another building with red banners with a circular design and on a right what seemed like a shop with a smithy and a man working the forge way too close the wooden floor of the city. The marketplace was round and the different shops were nothing but stalls with things ranging from armor and weapons to jewels and even food placed on them. I saw Ganus make his way towards the stall where a tall brunette woman stood decked in brown armor. There he took his backpack and flipped it, emptying its contents into the stall. Daggers and more daggers, cloth, daggers, a helmet, daggers, armor, daggers and whatnot spilled into the stall. I could not see the woman’s reaction but I definitely saw Ganus’s smug expression, the same one that spread across his face when he talked that city guard out of the entrance tax. It was an expression that whispered “Kindly go fuck yourself” while giving you the instrument with which to do so, and by the looks of it the mer wore that on his face quite frequently. 

I decided to use my time to check my phone again. I’ve shut it off shortly after Ganus and I walked out of the cave while he was washing his face on a nearby river, having realized that the thing was useless at this point and there was minimal chance the elf would know what it was. Now though I was alone so I allowed myself to turn it on, just to check once again if there was connection, which of course there wasn’t. As I looked at the last remaining 10 percent of my battery I remembered that I had my solar battery in my bag so I fastly took it off my shoulders and rummaged through. And there it was my savior, my hope, my heart, my solar powered battery. I placed it carefully on the nightstand under the window and connected the cable with my phone and almost squeaked in delight when the screen lit up. If anything atleast I had my phone.  
Wait, my phone.

I took it in my hands again and unlocked the screen, where the faces of me and my brother Ryan greeted me with warm smiles and Mickey mouse hats. I still had my pictures and memories. I had headphones and even though I did not have offline Spotify I did have downloaded music. I had home in my hands.

I looked at my brothers green eyes. I always joked that I should’ve inherited them from mum because they’d look better on me. What was happening to them now? Was I missing for the same time as I’ve been in this world or was I gone for just a second? How would they react when they learn that a family member was missing?  
I almost threw the phone to the ground.

No, no, no I was not going to think about my family now. I was thinking how to get back. Yes, that’s it. It’s been just a day, Liz, get a hold of yourself. No point in moping and crying and-

Oh who was I kidding? I was in an entirely different universe. How does one come back from that?

I needed a distraction. Thoughts like that would only serve as an anchor, and I needed to keep swimming. 

I took out my phone’s camera and took a picture of the city outside. It came same as I saw it, no weird distortions or anything. So if one day I came back I could show this picture. But of course! 

I walked out of the room, pouch in left hand, phone in right and headed straight for the first floor. There I walked towards the counter but before that I angled my phone as I was still on the staircase so I could photograph the entire inside of the inn, walking talking dinosaurs and all.

“How can I help you?” purred the argonian lady behind the counter. She had light beige scales all across her face and body which glistered in the candlelight. I almost forgot what I was about to do because, as weird and otherworldly she was, the scales just looked so pretty under that light. And also because I was standing a few feet from a living breathing homo sapiens reptilian but that’s another question.

“Uhh, what’s on the menu?”

“The special for the day is horker with baked potatoes, though I do recommend our soups. We have, cabbage soup, vegetable soup, horker soup, tomato soup-“  
My head spinned around all the types of soup that she recited. I was afraid to ask what a horker was and quite honestly it did not sound appetizing so I just set on vegetable soup. Ganus did not say anything about what he wanted after all. As the argonian headed in the backside of the inn I took a few more photos.

“Tell me, sera, why do you carry an ingot?” I heard a voice besides me and immediately froze. I hid my phone into the red cloak Ganus gave me and turned to see yet another dunmer with ashen white hair and a green tunic that looked surprisingly casual on him. His red eyes were staring right at my hands and did not once go to my face during our brief conversation.

“Oh that? Just a small trinket. It’s nothing really I believe I was scammed by the guy who sold it.”

“The surface looked expensive. Is that ebony?” he raised his hand and I immediately jumped back.

“Uhhhh, no. It’s fake.” I squeaked. Luckily at this moment the argonian inn keeper walked in with the soups in hand so I fastly took them, payed and excused myself.  
Okay I had to be more careful. My phone was my most prized possession right now and if anything I had to protect it the most. No more pictures in the open where others could see it and take interest.

I set the soups on the night stands and looked at my options, then sighted when I realized I did not have much. As calm as the city looked I was scared of going out just yet. That small convo I just had was proof that I was not yet fully ready. I also could not go back to the first floor and just start asking around about some stuff from this world that could be common knowledge- that’d be weird and suspicious. All I had was my phone, this room a bunch of soup and god knows how much time, so I sat down in bed and connected my phone with my charger again, then pulled out my ereader and chose a book to pass the time with.

Not long passed when Ganus came back effectively scaring me by opening and trashing the door with too much force than necessary. I quickly hid my phone behind me as he sat on his bed and threw his bag to the other side of the room.

“Is everything allright?” I asked.

“Just Brynjolf being Brynjolf.” He sighed and picked up his soup with a haste “Thanks.”

“The same guy that made that city entrance tax scheme?”

“Same n’wah. He’s got some connections, being a part of the Thieves Guild and all but when I asked him about that America he just laughed and asked where have I found sujamma in this city. Fucking- Anyway. Thieves Guild’s got nothing on your country, continent or planet. ”

“Oh.” I muttered. I did sort of expect it, but it still stung. “What do I do now?”

“If the Thieves Guild’s got no information on it that means it’s hidden from the common man. Doesn’t mean nobody’s heard of it though. “The elf took his spoon and gesticulated with it in the air. “There’s still options. We could go to the College of Winterhold. I’ve got some connections there as well. And if they don’t know I guess it’s Cyrodill’s Mages Guild. And if not them then we turn into daedra worship and blood deals.” The last part he said with a small grin and a wink, though I failed to understand why. What was so funny in praying to the dunmeri gods? I decided not to ask and focus on a much more important part of what he said.

“ We?”

“Yes. You look so tiny and helpless, you tickle me right at my hero bone. Besides, no offense but I saw what you have in that bag. Nothing but junk, not a single septim, no forbidden books, no weapons, so I know that wherever you come from, alternative universe or not, you are indeed helpless here.”

This set a certain falling feeling in my stomach. He looked through my stuff, probably while I was unconscious without my consent. He’s seen my phone, my charger, my first aid kit, my keys, my sunglasses, my headphones, everything, and while he did not abuse the fact that I was asleep, he surely had the power to do so. Suddenly I realized that this man was perfectly capable of robbing me blind of everything I owned and leaving me alone to my fate. I was, in a sense, dependant on his mercy. This was bad, really bad.

“I’d appreciate it if you don’t do that again. Looking in my bag that is.” I said calm and stern. He just smirked that smug smirk that really seemed to be his trademark or something.

“You are a strangely dressed woman that drops out of nowhere in the middle of a forest that claims to come from another world. I believe I have every right to be as suspicious as I damn please.”

“I had not said a thing about another world when you went through my stuff.”

“Never hurts to know more. I did not take anything, did I?"

“Look. I’m thankful that you’re helping and you’re offering to continue helping out of your own good will, but still, I don’t wish my stuff to be touched. I’m not asking for a lot.”

“Fine. Already saw everything anyway.”The elf sighted and came back to his soup.

We ate in silence. When I was finished I pulled the empty wooden bowl in my lap and looked through the window again. It looked like it was already becoming afternoon. 

Apparently I’ve waited Ganus to come back much longer that I originally thought I did.

“I told you the basics of this world, why don’t you tell me about yours?” the dunmer spoke mid chew.

“That’d be a task.” I sported a small smile. “My world seems bigger than yours.”

“Let’s not compare Muatras, Isabelle.”

I chuckled. Despite my seemingly poor Tamrielic dictionary I still understood the context and honestly that made it somehow funnier in my mind. I needed to keep a note to ask him what a Muatra is later.

“We have seven continents. North and South America, Africa, Europe, Asia, Australia and Antarctica. Yes, South America consist only of USA, Mexico and Canada, but the other continents? There are forty four countries just in Europe alone, and that’s one of the smaller continents.”

“You’re screwing with me.” Ganus winced. “No way forty four countries can exist on one continent. Each must be as big as Riften.”

“Nope. They’re fully fledged countries. That’s also where my ancestors came. I’m second generation American. America is a pretty new country so the bigger part of its population consist of immigrants, like my parents.”

“What was America before it became a country?”

“Huh?”

“You said it was a new country. What was the continent before it became a country? Was it filled with tribesman that decided to unite and take in immigrants?”

“Yes and no. There were, uh tribesman as you say it I guess, though I would not use that word. They were a civilized nation with culture and traditions. They’re called the Native Americans. When the Europeans came… they did not immigrate peacefully.”

“Got it. And that’s why you speak of the natives in past tense.”

“There are still some communities left. Though in comparison to all other groups…”

“Sounds a lot like Skyrim. This land used to be the home of many falmer. Snow elves. Then the nords came and the snow elves are no more. Well, not what they used to be anyway. You mentioned culture and I heard you use one name quite a lot. Jesus Christ. Is that your god?”

“Oh, no, not really, I’m actually quite atheistic. I was brought up in Christian household so it’s just habit at this point.”

“An atheist? Those are rare here.”

“Well I guess when your gods can curse a whole race it is quite different.” I laughed nervously. Ganus put down just own empty bowl and spoke after a brief pause.

“Not just any gods, daedra. There’s a big distinction between them and the aedra that are formally approved by the Empire.”

I nodded. Right. Aedra were the good gods, that it was okay to worship. Daedra were the not so good ones. One type gave their everything to create Nirn, the others did not. And that kids is what passes as history here. 

“Are you religious, Ganus?”

“I pray only to the Reclamations, that is Azura, Boethia and Mephala.”

“And those are…?”

“Daedra.” He finished off with a smile. Watch out, we’ve got an edgy one here. He got up from his bed and with bowl in hand headed towards the door where he stopped for a moment and looked back at me. “You’re not coming?”

“Where?”

“It’s afternoon.To drink of course.”


	2. I make bad decisions and suffer the consequences

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Isabelle gets drunk and says some stupid shit before she realizes she should be more careful with her words around this parts.

I was already a few bottles in when I realized a few things.

1\. Ganus was a professional.

2\. Seriously, that man drank just as much as me, two bottles of that Black-Briar mead or whatever it’s called and he was perfectly fine while I was already scared of getting up in fear of falling and my words had turned slurred. Also the dinosaurs did not bother me that much anymore. In fact when Kiraava, the female one, brought us our second round I gathered the confidence to tell her how damn pretty these scales where. Ganus laughed at me when I did that but you know what Ganus, you can kindly go fuck yourself, Keerava has nice fucking scales and she deserves to know that. 

3\. The dunmer definitely became more inquisive as the mead poured, so much that he was asking personal questions now. Yes, Ganus I have just one brother. Yes, I’m sure my father does not own a small village nor does he have any illegitimate children, and besides that’s a damn rude thing to ask. No, we live in a house, no castles or city halls. No, I am not a nobility, we don’t even have those anymore. Well we do have the upper class but it’s not the same. Okay it kinda is. Yes I am absolutely sure I am not a runaway princess either. No, nobody impregnated me primordially and caused me to run away with shame from my rich life of fantasy and comfort into a land I did not know with nothing on me but the clothes on my back and a bit of junk. That’s also pretty rude to ask.

I was already looking at the third bottle of mead heading my way, held between scaly shiny fingers when I sort of concentrated on what I was doing and came to the conclusion it was pretty dumb. The felling however passed as soon as the liquor touched my lips.

The inn had already filled and the sun outside was nowhere to be seen. A woman and a man were playing a calm tune on drums and a flute that made the whole Tolkien medieval fantasy experience so immersive I could practically taste it. Wait I was. I was actually here. Damn.

“Watch the mead, lass. Haven’t seen anybody outdrink that one and believe me, I’ve seen many try.” A man sat down on the seat between me and Ganus. I looked at him through my blurry vision and concluded he was allright. No three arms or scales, just a regular ole human dude with auburn hair and a trimmed beard wearing a fancy looking orange shirt and a fancy looking pants with fancy looking shoes and fancy looking blue jacket. Fancy dude. And was that a Scottish accent?

“’Ya aren’t me master, mate.” I giggled immediately after. Oh no, that was not a Scottish accent. Who cares. Why did I try to do that anyway, it was dumb. Look, he’s staring at me weirdly now. Oh, no, he laughed. Allright, everything’s good between me and fancy pants. Though Ganus does not seem quite pleased. Or that could be just his face. He does have this demon thing going on.

“You said we could talk business here.” Fancy pants turned towards Ganus. He just scrunched his face and groaned. 

“That was me kindly trying to sneak off of Mercer’s annoying speeches.”

“He is still our Guild Master, Valen. And you specifically should listen more, especially since the Goldenglow fiasco.”

“Not my fault there was a thrice cursed dragon, Brynjolf.”

My ears perked at that. Wait…

“Dragons!” I gasped. “There are dragons!? Why didn’t you tell me!”

“Hey, calm down there. You’re going to spill that mead.” Ganus leaned into the table and catched my flagon as it was slowly turning on its left side more than it should. That did not matter though because dragons, there were dragons!

“Are they Drakaris dragons or Smaug dragons? Or Train your own dragon dragons?”

Brynfancypants gave me a funny look, Ganus just laughed and turned towards him.

“As you can’t see that’s not really the place or time to speak business.”

“You’re being careless, lass. “The man whispered but I did not need long pointy elf ears to hear everything. “If you do not wish to work with the Guild you need to just tell me.” He then stood up without taking a single sip from his drink, made a short mock toast and walked out.

“Yeah and I know what happens if I do that.” Ganus muttered to himself after the man had left. I looked at him real hard with my blurry human eyes and then decided that a slap to the shoulder was the best course of action. This seemed to shock him for a bit as he came back from full broody to quarter broody.

“You know I find it very funny how your world doesn’t have magic yet you know of dragons.” He said after the yet another swing of Black-Briar mead. With extra honey for just 9.99 at your local stores.

“We have stories and stuff. Like Tolkien. And Disney. And G.R.R Martin.”

“Books?”

“And movies. And TV series. Man, Game of Thrones is the best. You gotta see Daenerys riding on Drakaris it’s the fucking”-and right then and there my sentence trailed off. I was telling a medieval elf about movies. Surely if he didn’t think I was crazy at this point right now I just cemented my crazy lady status.

“See? Weren’t you speaking of books? “

“It’s..”I tried to juggle with my words and failed. “…hard to explain.” I thought of my phone. It had pictures and videos and stuff. And I’m pretty sure I have the last episode of Game of Thrones downloaded waiting for me to watch it whenever I decided that I couldn’t postpone it of fear of not having the next season coming out anytime soon. I could show that and say “See, I’m not a crazy lady!” But then again, there was this dunmer guy from earlier that showed interest towards the phone and most certainly Ganus will do the same. What if he saw its worth and stole it in the middle of the night and ran off? What would I do then, all alone and penniless?

“Hmm. I’m sure that it is.” The grey skinned elf hummed into his flask. I looked around the tavern, having now sobered up a bit. Suddenly the place seemed very, very small and very, very crowded. A pair of red eyes stared back at me from besides Keerava’s counter and I shivered as I recognized the mer from earlier. He did not move his gaze away, in fact he got up from his place and started walking towards our table. I suddenly panicked, stood up, leaned a bit closer to the floor that I’d like to admit and then dragged Ganus by the arm towards the stairs.

“My drink, woman, I haven’t finished my drink!” he moaned and quickly pried his hand away from my grasp, ran towards the table, took both our tankards, then came back and placed his arm back in mine. “We can proceed.”

I’d laugh if the white haired dunmer wasn’t getting so close. I couldn’t have him ask anymore about my phone. I was not quite a hundred percent sober just yet and was not capable of pulling anything out of my ass as of this moment. So I continued dragging Ganus up the stairs and then towards our room and then into our respective beds. He seemed to find some humor in that at least. Unfortunately, though I had managed to escape one dunmer, it seemed that I had another one to deal with. 

Ganus immediately got up from his bed once I threw my earthly body into mine and jumped right next to me, drinks still in hand. And this is the moment ladies and gentlemen when I note that these beds are one person beds, not one person and 7 feet tall grey demon alien elves beds.

“Alien.” The word escaped my lips. He raised an eyebrow and somehow managed to find a comfortable position facing me, then downed his tankard which I’m pretty sure was atleast half full.

“Huh? What’s that?”

“You look like an alien. Grey skin, big eyes, you know. Only you don’t travel around on a flying saucer abducting cows and analy probing humans.”

“You don’t know that.” He smiled a menacing smile. I stuck my tongue at him. Boo. Bad joke. 

“What’cha doing here anyway?” I changed the topic fastly. Dirty jokes with an alien looking elf was not a thing I felt comfortable doing especially drunk on my bed.

“I’m about to sleep here. I did pay for this room.”

“I mean what are you doing in my bed?”

He raised his eyebrow again. His right temple must’ve had mad muscles at this point considering how much he did that today.

“My, do you not know what happens when a man-“

“Dude, come on, really?” I tried to push him off, but he would not budge and just laughed. Damned tall elf. 

“You gotta learn, Isabelle, you are the appropriate a-.”

“Dude.” I waved a finger at his face. His smile only grew wider.

“I’m just screwing with you.” he whispered and then turned his head back and roared in laugher at his own dumb pun. Fortunately this was the end of his comedy show, curtains closed, laughing track stopped, stage lights off, tomatoes peeled off the ground by the poor overworked overtired janitor. He emptied my own tankard’s contents, rolled out of bed and began undressing from his armor at the sight of which I immediately turned to the other side. I waited for him to get in his bed to ask my last quite embarrassing question of the day.

“Ganus. I don’t have a pajama.”

“Oh by Mephala’s webs.” He groaned too dramatically to be taken seriously, got up and after some rustling threw what looked like a white shirt at me. I took it, looked back at him and made a threatening hand gesture when I saw that he was not looking away. In his turn he laughed and rolled around to the other side.


	3. I dig myslelf an even deeper hole

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Luck favours Isabelle once more. And by favours I mean it kicks her in the head and laughs at her face.

I’ve never been the religious type but damn it all if I did not pray to at least a few deities once I woke up with a headache so strong I wondered how I woke up alive at all.  
The sun was shining straight into my face which coupled with the lovely headache and the fact I was waking up once again in La La Land made my first few moments awake quite confusing and disoriented. The grey alien-sorry, elf- on the bed besides me didn’t help of course, as well as the quiet curses he was muttering coupled with the ruckus that came with emptying everything he held in his travel bag. 

I took a long, deep breath and tried to come back to reality. I was in Skyrim, either dreaming or existing in an alternative reality. That ali- ELF- was Ganus Valen, dunmer, mercenary, adventurer and apparently a hell of a drinker, the last being something I very recently learned when, like the smart cookie that I was, I agreed to go and get piss drunk with him. Hence the headache.

I felt like hitting myself in the head but decided not to because my brain was doing the hitting for me anyway. I was an idiot. I did not know the guy. He could’ve done anything. I didn’t know the world that well either. I remember telling dinosaur lady, Keerava, that she had beautiful scales. Was that taboo to say? I tried speaking to Ganus about Game of Thrones at one point, practically turned into a five year old when I heard about dragons and then became the victim of his very, very bad and inappropriate jokes. Not to mention I was wearing his shirt. Oh for the love of-

“You awake? Good. Check your bag.” The grey skinned man barked, which made me jump. I turned to look at him only to be greeted with half open hooded red eyes and deep cutting scowl. I stood up and by habit raised my hand towards the window where my phone was, only it was not there.

I froze.

My phone.

My home.

It was not there.

I jumped out of bed and started inspecting the area around the window. I had been very careful when placing my phone, making sure that there was no way for it to fall out of the window. And besides my battery was still there, if it had fallen it would’ve taken it with it. No, something was wrong it was supposed to be here dammit.

I opened my bag just to make sure but nope, everything was where it should’ve been. Still no phone in sight.

I felt my lips quiver and tried to hold back my tears, but could not restrain my sob. Fuck. That was literally the one thing that I needed the most. I could’ve been fine without my sunglasses, or my headphones but no, it was my most valuable item that had to go missing. Jesus I was an idiot.

“What’s missing?” Ganus had managed to cross the room and was now sitting on my bed, eyes glued to the contents of my bag. I quickly closed it, looked up so no tears start falling, took yet another deep breath and tried my best to speak without my voice breaking.

“Yes.”

“What is it?”

“My…a small black brick. Shiny.”

“Is it valuable?”

“Very.” I squeaked as my voice inevitably failed me. I had to now actively focus on not crying. The man besides me nodded and patted my back.

“Someone’s snuck in while we were sleeping. I’ve got a few things missing as well.” He got up and started stuffing his stuff back into his backpack. That’s when I noticed the contents of it. Most of it was small bottles with no labels, organized into three colours- red, which was the most prominent, then green and blue. There were two additional ones, save from a big bulky waterskin, which were small and black. I wondered what those could be but did not dare to ask in the condition I was currently in. There was some bread left from yesterday as well as what looked like berries and a few pairs of pants, what I assumed was either underwear of some weird kind or socks. That was the non-concerning part of his belongings. Other than that there were four more daggers that looked identical to the ones he tried to sell to that one merchant yesterday, some clothes, one of which looked smeared with something that looked way too much like blood, a claw-like object made of fancy material that almost looked like amethyst, a few more purses (probably filled with coins, or was it septims in here?), some parchment that seemed to be holding something and worst of all-bones. Big, silky white bones, one of which was at least the size of my torso.

I held my breath for a moment. Why was he carrying bones around? What happened to that one shirt? Why did he have so many weapons? Was he a dangerous person?  
“Best place to go looking would be the Guild, except if our little thief is working outside of it. Then finding them would be harder I guess, that is if they’re even in Riften anymore. Doesn’t matter, damned s’wit took my Razor. The fucking fetcher will regret ever stealing from the fucking…Ganus Valen. “the dunmer continued muttering as he was preparing his bag. I on the other hand just eyed my clothes that had stood on my back for two nights now and winced.

“I’ll go order us some breakfast. Get dressed and get down so we can discuss what to do next.” And with that he was gone. I dressed fastly and tried not to think further about my phone or how dirty my crop top and high waisted jeans must be. I haven’t showered either, nor managed to change socks or panties. Damn I was a mess. 

I pulled the red cloak around me, covering my clothes and descended down the stairs where Ganus was awaiting me on the table that stood the farthest from all the rest. He was slowly eating from a plate filled with what looked like mashed potatoes and some meat. The same type of dish awaited me at the other end of the table, however while he had ale by his side I did not. 

“I go to the Ratway, you ask around the market if someone had seen something. If nobody has, go to whoever else you see around.” He began talking immediately when I sat down before I could even touch my fork.

“Why not the guards?”

He groaned.  
“Go to a Riften guard for theft? That’s like going to a pimp for a back massage.”

“Yesterday there was a man.” I dove my fork into the meat and inspected it as I spoke, mostly because I was sort of scared to look Ganus in the eyes right now “He was a dunmer, like you. When I went to order our lunch I took my, uh, black brick with me and he saw it and he started asking questions and I may have ran away, and then, then when we were drinking I saw him again and he started going towards us and I got scared and that is why I dragged y-“

“Hold up.” Ganus raised an arm with a knife in it “What were you even doing with that thing? I mean it’s just a slab of ebony, no? Why carry a slab of ebony around? That’s just asking to be mugged.”

“I…use it. For things and stuff.” The elf made a short pause from his food to give me a long, scrutinizing look. 

“So not just a slab of ebony?”

“…No.”

“Something from your world.”

My eyes refused to leave my meal. I’ve remembered each and every wrinkle in the weird meat by now.

“As is everything in my bag, yes.”

“Are we going to play this game the whole day? Just tell me what it is, damn it.”

“Something that I should’ve been able to contact my world with.”

“Hmm. And why haven’t you?” 

“Cause it doesn’t work, obviously.”

He nodded and went into eating. I was sure at this point that he did not believe my story, especially after the questions he bombarded me with after he so gallantly awaited me to become absolutely piss drunk. I probably should show him the phone. I mean, the guy had money, I saw all the pouches of it he carried around. He’d already funded me with two meals, a bed to sleep in and drinks to get drunk on, so he was probably not aching to steal the first shiny thing that crosses his eyes. But then again, he had connection to that Thieves Guild, and judging by the name alone that meant that he has, at some point of his life, stolen. How much, for what reason I cannot tell. He told me he was a mercenary, an adventurer, both professions he insisted payed well. So he either purposefully “forgot” to tell me about a brief portion of his life where he had to turn to theft so much so that he joined a fucking guild for it, or I’m misinterpreting things. And I mean he did not steal my stuff, so there was that.

“Don’t hurt yourself.” I heard him say. I turned to look at him and found out that he had already finished his plate.

“Huh?”

“You seemed to be deep in thought.”

I groaned.

“How did that dunmer fellow from last night look? Was he bald of white haired?”

“White haired. How did you know?”

“There are only two dunmer men that live inside the city. And as it happens I know the guy. Romlyn Dreth. Though I find it odd, the guy works for Black Briar and is definitely no thief. Well, not the kind that climbs buildings.”

“He could’ve hired somebody. There’s a Thieves Guild in this city.”

“They wouldn’t agree on a contract on me. But…they would if I was never mentioned. So do we go to the Guild or do we go to the man himself. He must be working in the meadery at this time. However Maven would not appreciate us harassing her staff during work hours, especially me. But we can’t wait long. The Razor is a damn good item and I know it’ll sell fast and expensive.”

“You go to the Guild, I’ll go to this Romlyn guy.”

Ganus raised an eyebrow.

“And how will you extract the truth from him?”

“I’ll think of something.” I shrugged. The man sighted, opened his backpack and threw one of the many daggers he carries around on the table. I eyed it but did not pick it up.

“Take it.”

“Why?”

“Cause you’re in Tamriel, and I don’t know how stuff work in this world of yours but here young little girls don’t walk around unarmed.”

“I am a grown woman.” The elf smirked, though it was not a smile born of humor.

“You are unarmed. Take the dagger.”

I took the weapon and examined it. It was one of the smaller ones, seeing as the blade did not extend further than my palm. It had a black hardened scabbard with a snap closure that was probably meant to go around the leg. The weapon’s grip was a deep ebony with swirly silver design that enclosed around it like little waves. It was pretty, albeit dangerous, and I found myself wondering how much it must’ve cost to make it. I tried it on my thigh, however it was obviously meant for someone bigger so I had to snap it around my jean’s belt loops. Ganus stood and watched silently the entire time.

“If we’d be travelling you’ll need clothes. Last I checked you didn’t have any.”

I looked at him, opened my mouth and then closed it. I sort of expected him to help yes, but that didn’t mean that it wasn’t overwhelming having someone pour so much money in you for no good reason other than ‘you tickle my hero bone’. 

“I…yeah. I’d appreciate that”

“Dress or light armor?”

That almost made me chuckle.  
“Me and armor? How do you see that?”

“Yeah, I’d be unfortunate.” 

I let that comment slide.

“Hey, Ganus. I really appreciate what you’re doing for me, saving me buying me food , bed, but… I sort of feel uncomfortable. I don’t have anything to repay you with.”

“You can tell me all about your bag’s contents and I’ll count that as payment.” He shrugged. “You could also help with any distractions among the way.”

I almost spit my food, barely avoided choking on it, and certainly looked like a cat trying to vomit out a furball for a second.

“Whitanywhatnow?”

Distractions.” A smug grin cracked across his lips. “That is if you’re not afraid, of course.”

I did not dare ask of what I should be afraid or why should I be afraid on the first place, I just delved my eyes deep into the floor and tried to rid myself of any unruly thought of weird grey skinned alien elves and whatever they could have down there that I may be afraid of.

“There are going to be quite a lot of undead in the crypts.” Ganus continued “And honestly, crypt diving is the easiest and most prolific one. Draugr are dumb as fuck and there are rarely any other inhabitants, other than maybe- and just maybe- giant spiders. Then there’s bandit whipping, but that’s a bit more dangerous and I don’t see you going against a group of bandits, where draugr don’t charge in more than two and are easy to hold off. So yes, you can go on and help me with that.”

“You want me to go inside people’s crypts with you?” I squeaked. My face heated up with embracement and then immediately paled at the mention of undead. Yes, of course there would be zombies in here and of course my traveling buddy was into stealing people’s great grandparent’s jewelry or something. And he mentioned it so casually. He was obviously experienced with it. Was it even a taboo in here? How true of an answer would I get from a person that already does it? And bandit whipping? How does one bandit whip? Does he mean stealing their items? Actually that would make sense, him being connected with the Thieves Guild and all.

The worst thing is I couldn’t choose which was worse- the crypts with undead and giant spiders or the form of payment I initially assumed he suggested. I certainly felt like hitting my head on the table for just thinking about it. 

Not that Ganus was an ugly man by any means. In fact I’m pretty sure if you transport his features to a human he’d be quite allright, if not good looking. It’s his eyes contrasting with his complexion, the ears, the piercings, the tattoos, the weird lines, it was all just too much. Also my problem was mainly with the payment but hey, he did not mean it so it’s all right. Right? Just a few crypts. With bodies. Corpses. Walking corpses. Spiders.

I felt my throat prepare for another squeak but managed to hold it in on time.

“If you go crypt diving with me you’ll basically earn every septim I’ve given so far, as well as some on top. It’s a pretty good deal.”

“Okay. We’ve got a deal.”

He smiled slightly took a drink from his ale (who drinks so early in the morning?), got up and said goodbye before I could even ask him for any advise with dealing with that Romlyn guy. It seems I was on my own.

I made sure to finish my meal before I walked out of the inn. Outside was a pretty sunny day, but I could still feel the creeping chill in the air. I did not know how early was exactly- I did not see a single clock around. I just knew it was probably morning. People were already buzzing around the market place like in a beehive. You could hear someone scream “Gems, potions, exotic ingredients…I have them all!”, another yell “Vegetables as crisp as a winter’s morning „and so forth, all of the voices easily turning into a pile of background noise once one stops paying attention. I could not hold my curiosity and ended up walking towards the market place, looking at the goods presented at the stalls. I saw all types of stuff, from jewelry to armor and even some dude that was holding an elixir which he sold like it was snake oil on facebook. Wait a minute.

I turned towards the man and ran my gaze across his face. Auburn hair, trimmed beard, blue fancy jacket… Wasn’t this the dude from the Thieves Guild? Brynjolf or whatshisname? That meant that I didn’t have to go confront Romlyn right away.

“Hello?” I inspected the waters first with a polite smile and timid voice. He broke off from his relentless screaming and turned his attention towards me. It was now that I saw how strong the alcohol from last night was. When I saw him then I thought him a noble or something, he did wear fancy clothes and seemed quite well trimmed next to most people I’ve seen so far. But now as I was standing infront of him completely sober and in day light he seemed sort of…off. His clothes were fancy. It’s just that the beard was not exactly clean cut, there were bits here and there that a barber would probably not leave unattended. His hair was long and left to flow till his shoulders which gave him a bit of a shabby look. The skin on his face seemed way too rough for someone that may be noble. He didn’t quite fit in his clothes. Not that they were not his size, no, they most certainly were, it was more like he didn’t fit in them as a person. 

“And what do ye need, lass? Whatever it is, The Falmer’s blood elixir shall fix it, mend it and then even more!”

“Oh, no, no. Thank you.” I smiled best I could. I did not know how to feel about someone trying to sell me blood. “I actually wanted to ask you something about your business.”

“The ingredients of The Falmer’s blood elixir have been a family secret for ages and I cannot share them.” The man said almost as fast as these speakers after a pharmaceutical advertisement. It was certainly something wondrous to witness live.

“It’s actually about business-business, you know?” I lowered my voice into a whisper at the last part. The man lowered the deep red and green bottle he was holding and then lowered himself towards me.

“And what might that be?”

“Last night someone stole from my room in the inn. We suspect he may have been payed from someone to do it. It just so happens that I was sharing a room with Ganus Valen, so said thief ended up stealing some stuff of his as well. I was wondering if perhaps you may know something more about that deal.”  
I purposefully namedropped Ganus, just because of his comment earlier how the Guild would not steal from him, expecting that this will be the thing that’ll untie Brynjolf’s tongue. He however just smiled and extended an arm.

“Information costs money, lass.”

Fuck. I didn’t have a single septim on me. Okay, okay, Ganus’s name didn’t work I needed a different tactic. 

“A very important item was stolen.” I began as I thought of home. Ryan, Mary, mum, dad, everyone I could think of and how far away they were and how I may never come back and my eyes immediately watered so I dragged on “It was a small block of ebony that was passed through generations in my family. I have lost my family and this was the only thing I had to remember them by. I cannot-“ the tactic sort of backfired because I was sobbing so bad I could not speak anymore but it did gather attention. I could hear whispering and movement behind me and even made sure that I sobbed a bit louder than I naturally do.

“Hey, now. No need for tears.” The man infront of me raised both arms “However without money I cannot dig anything for you.”

“What about-What about Valen?”

“Valen’s Valen. He’ll get what he wants,lass.”

“He agreed to help me find- find my item.”

The man sighted and took a step towards me then lowered his voice so much I barely heard it.

“Then he’ll come to me. He knows where I am. I suggest you go now before you hinter my business any further.”

My eyes seemed to dry suddenly just like my mouth. Shit. I looked at his waist, where a sword lay casually. Yeah, no, not fucking with that. 

I backed away from the market slowly, wiping any tears residue from my face. Okay, this guy was of no help at all but I couldn’t just go back to the inn and leave Ganus to do everything. I still had a face and a name that I needed to track down- Romlyn Dreth. 

I started wandering the town, looking at the buildings one by one. Our inn had a shop sign and so did the blacksmith, so I assumed that the Black-Briar meadery at which Dreth worked would have one as well. And I was correct- in no more than a few minutes I stood infront of a wooden building that had a lovely drawn sign with bees and a tankard filled to the brim with flowers, above which read “Black-Briar Meadery”. 

I stepped in and was met by another elf at the counter. He appeared shorter than the average man, with skin dark as a tree bark, shaved head, those weirdly slanted up elven eyes and a customer pleasing smile. The window barely lit up the whole room, so candles made out of goat horns were placed about. Different colored bottles were placed all around, all inscribed with a hand written “Black-Briar”. A few kegs were placed on the counter besides the elf too, ready to be poured into the tankards nearby. The room smelled of mead, honey and still air. It was a strong smell that slapped me right away, making me remember my very regretful previous night and even worse headache. Somehow the sweetness of the smell made it all worse.

“Welcome to the Black-Briar Meadery! How can I help you? Are you here for tasting or for buying?”

I stammered a bid, not sure what to say but then remembered what I came for.

“No, actually I’m looking for Romlyn Dreth. I want to speak with him, if that’s allright?”

“He’s working down at the boiling room right now. Maven Black-Briar has a very strict set of rules about the work ethics in Black-Briar Meadery that require our full focus all the time which is the reason why our mead is the best in all of Skyrim. I’m afraid I cannot disturb my colleague’s hard work because that’ll go against these work ethics. You can however come here when we close at 8pm.”

“I really can’t afford to wait for this….?”

“Ungrien. Pleasure to meet you.”

“I’m Iz. I’m going to be real fast I promise. Just tell him to come here and he’ll be back to work before you could say “Black-Briar”.

“Ah, I can’t do that, I apologize. I could however offer you some refreshment while you wai-“

“A second is all I’m asking for. Is it too much?”

The elf’s smile suddenly cracked and fell down. For a moment his whole demeanor changed as he lowered himself closer to me and hastily whispered.

“Look, if Maven hears anything about us breaking the work ethics bad things- bad things - will happen to both me and Romlyn. So for our good, just wait till 8 pm. Please.”

“What things?” I whispered back but then a man walked inside the room from the back. Another dunmer with shaved head, flames in his eyes and a fancy fur coat that went all the way to his feet. He just stood there at the door without moving an inch. Ungrien immediately rose up, plastered that dork ass smile back on his face and tilted his head right.

“So would you like to taste the regular Black-Briar mead, or are you feeling adventurous?”

“Do you have uh, something lighter?” I played along.

“Yes, of course. This batch was made very recently and is actually very new recipe that we haven’t even bottled yet! It is lighter in both color and kick. Our focus with it was to create a finer taste for traveling foreigners who are not yet accustomed to lady Skyrim’s rough meads.” The elf immediately took a tankard and filled it with a honey colored drink from one of the barrels and then handed it to me. I looked at it with displeasure- it smelled even sweeter than a Hershey’s factory. In an attempt to prolong the time in which I’d have to taste this unholy atrocity I waved the tankard around like I was inspecting a fine wine and then gave it a long sniff which was a colossal mistake because it immediately triggered my gag motion. I tried to mask it with a cough. Ungrien thankfully started speaking right as I opened my mouth.

“I see that you’re an experienced connoisseur. What do you think about the recipe, lady Iz?”

“It’s color is vivid and striking.” I spoke, trying to channel my inner Guy Fieri. “But the smell is heavy and therefore, sort of… If I may…fetid.”

Perhaps insulting the mead was not the best course of action, but it did open a window for a longer conversation which hopefully would tire the mer that was watching us. Ungrien furrowed his eyebrows and offered to take the tankard from me, and then took opened a bottle with no inscription on it and poured a bit into it. He offered the mug back to me with a wide smile and a polite “Please try this then, my lady.” I took the drink and did the same thing I did before, this time even slower. By the time I was describing a rejuvenating wintery breeze on a hot summer day the mer that was watching us had exited the scene and Ungrien and I were free to speak normally once again.

“What was this about?”

“Indaryn. He’s the brewmaster and Maven’s eyes and ears. That’s why I can’t fetch Romlyn for you.”

“Oh. Hey, I’ve got an idea. Let’s say I wish to buy hmmm, a hundred bottles of this unbottled stuff. What would the meadery do then?”

“I’ll have to speak with Indaryn and get it bottled and send right away.”

“Good. I want them send to Blacklight by the end of this week.”

The elf’s dark skin paled like the snow outside. 

“B-Blacklight? That’s a long way from here! We have to pay for shipment, boat, guards…”

“Let Indaryn worry about that.” I winked. “Just make sure you worry him for atleast 15 minutes, okay?”

“I….” the elf sighted and then shook his head. “I can’t. It’s too risky and I’ve already given so much to be standing where I am today. I cannot afford to lose this job.”

“You won’t, trust me. I’ll pay you for the favor.”

“No amount of money are worth the risk. I am sorry, lady Iz.”

I was about to give up when a small lamp light up in my head like it was Christmas, and it might well have been because I, Isabelle Pace, was a genius.

“Hey, Ungrien, how do you know when it’s 8pm for sure?”

“I wait Indaryn to notify me.”

“And how are you sure that Indaryn doesn’t sometimes forget to notify you a few hours later?”

“I… cannot know. Only the brewmaster is allowed to exit the meadery during the day and the sun clock is at the temple of Mara.”

“Let me make you an offer you cannot deny then.” I smiled. “I have a thing back in the inn that allows you to tell the exact hour, down to the minute and all. I give you that, you go and distract Indaryn while I sneak into the boiling room. Deal?”

He thought for a while and then he opened the barrel from earlier, poured in a whole tankard, downed it down in half a breath and looked me with fierce determination in his eyes.

“Deal.”

I smiled widely and almost held myself from hugging the mer right then and there. Instead I waved at him and dashed through the door back to the inn like my name was Barry Allen. When I came back to the meadery I happily opened my palm to reveal a small rose colored watch that looked brand new but I knew that the batteries had at least a week life in them so it was practically useless to me now. The elf hesitated at first, but then he took it in his hands and inspected carefully as if he was afraid it’ll break at the slightest gust of wind. 

“The small arrow tells the hour, the big one-the minutes.” I explained. He looked at me like he was looking at a ufo that had just parked its space ship infront of his shop and offered him magic mushrooms and honestly, I kind of was.

“This looks expensive.” He managed to murmur. I nodded.

“Yeah it ain’t cheap. But neither is what I’m asking from you, no?”

He quickly shoved the watch in his pocket and waved towards himself.

“Come. Hide under that crates over there while I speak with Indaryn and bolt inside before the door closes. When you’re done inside, there’s a door that takes you to the decks. You can escape from there.”

“You’ve got no idea how much I appreciate this. Thank you!” I whispered as I went besides the crates he told me to hide behind. They were placed right besides the door and were low enough for my little self to hide behind undetected. Ungrien stood still for a while, poured himself another tankard, downed it down once again and called out the brewmaster.

As soon as the door opened and the dark elf walked inside I dashed in and down the stairs until I was in a room filled with hay, huge metal barrels and fumes enough to make me drunk just by inhaling them. There were some people inside, tending to the barrels but they ignored me and I ignored them because my eye was set on a particular grey skinned fellow that was filling bottles at the far left corner. I quickly closed the distance and spoke low.

“Romlyn Dreth, was it? We need to speak.”

He turned towards me with what seemed like annoyance, and as soon as he saw me his face cracked into a frown.

“We’ve got nothing to speak about, sera.”

“Don’t sera me, you s’wit. You know what you did. Give back what you stole.”

“And what did I steal?” he freed his hands and rose up fully, showing off how he towered over me with atleast 2 heads. Damn it, Iz, didn’t you learn from earlier that people here can be scary? There was no way I could threaten this guy. No, I needed to approach this different way.

“You stole my….heart! Yes, you stole my heart!” I giggled like the fucking dumbass I was. I already regretted saying this halfway before I even finished saying it.  
“I’m sure I did.” He puffed up all of the sudden, his smile turning into something I’d expect out of Hannibal Lector. “You know, I am related to the famous Valen Dreth. Yes, the Valen Dreth, the man who protected the Emperor of Tamriel in his last breath on Nirn. ”

“Oh, that’s so cool!” I lied and faked a wide smile. “You have to tell me more! I kind of got flustered yesterday and was too shy to speak. Why don’t you get off work and…come to the inn so we can speak. “I wiggled my eyebrows and lowered my voice to a mere whisper. 

“Are you sure, sera? Last I saw you already had company at the inn.”

“It was a.. uh… a mere distraction that went nowhere. Don’t worry about him.”

“If you say so. However, sweetheart I’m afraid of all the things I can do, leaving now is impossible. So why don’t you wait for me in the inn? I’ll be there at sundown.”  
“Oh I don’t know if I can wait so long! I’ve lost a very precious object and I’ll be busy speaking with the guards after sundown.”

“Why…sundown?” he whinced. Fuck.

“Night patrol. Item got stolen at night. We’re hoping the thief will resurface this night too.”

“Makes sense. Might I ask what item was stolen from you?”

“A small block of ebony.” I showed with my hands roughly how big the phone was. “It’s a very important family relic. I cannot leave town without it.”

“Hmm, you know…” the dunmer smiled even creepier if that was possible and winked- fucking winked!- at me “I know a few people here that can… help out with your problem. Say I manage to find your item by sundown. How will you repay me, sweetheart?”

I gritted my teeth and wrapped my hands into fists behind my back because how angry I was at myself with what I was about to say. But I had to if I ever wanted to see my phone.

“We’ll discuss the payment in my room…sera.”

Like a pokemon, his creepy smile reached its final form of Creepizard. He chuckled and mumbled “Be seeing you then, my-”, however I could not stay for the end of that because I heard a door opening. I forcefully smiled back and dashed for the only other door I could see before the other mer could see me.

I found myself or a wooden dock that stood a few meters above the lake the city was half submerged in. I looked around trying to find a place where the dock connected with land but I could find none. And I couldn’t walk in the meadery again, so bath it is.

The water was cold and smelled weird. There were small fish inside of it and dragon flies above. I knew I already smelled a bit from not bathing for 2 days now and this “bath” was absolutely not helping. However I swam on until I reached land and there I tried unfruitfully to dry out my cloak a bit, then gave up and marched back into the town’s gates where a swift gauntlet stopped me.

“20 septims.” The townsguard stated nonchalantly. Goddamit-

“I know Brynjolf my dude. I know this is a scam.” I followed Ganus’s example from yesterday. However, unlike what happened with Ganus, the guard just snorted and waved a hand towards himself.

“Pay up.”

“I’ll tell the other guards.”

“You think you can frighten me, girl? Pay up or fuck off.”

I hate Skyrim. It’s official. 

I grunted and turned my back to the man and sat on the nearest rock near the city gates. 

“You won’t find any coin around there.” The guard laughed behind me. I grunted again.

“I’m looking for your decency, kind sir.” 

“Yap all you want, you’re not getting past these gates.”

I sighed and closed my eyes. I didn’t know what to do. I had nothing on me that I could trade or sell. A fast thought went through my head “Was this going to be my life like here without Ganus’s help?” I shivered. I was so goddamn dependent on the man, like a fucking child. Yeah, it was a scary new world and all ( if the alternative reality theory was correct) but still, I was too helpless for my liking. I was a grown ass woman for god’s sake I should be able to take care of myself!

All in due time, Iz, calm down. Learn about this world first. 

And thus I stood on this rock alone, safe from the lovely guard’s lovely words here and there. The sky was turning pink when finally the city gates opened and a tall blond woman decked in steel walked out. I immediately stood up and went to her.

“Hello? Sorry if I’m bothering you but I’m kind of in a bad spot here. This asshole there doesn’t let me walk in the city without paying a tax. Can you search for Ganu-“  
“A tax? Shore’s bones! Again!?” the woman’s voice boomed through my very being, louder than any Tomorrowland concert. She turned towards the guard that seemed to lose a portion of his height.

“No, Mjoll, that’s a misunderstanding! This woman is lying! I caught her stealing-“

I opened my cloak to reveal my running clothes underneath. The woman gave them a small surprised look but then quickly came back to herself and turned back towards the guard. The man took a few steps back and started opening the city gates, however the woman had already caught his blue scarf and threw him to the ground. I screamed and made a few steps back, but when I saw her preparing to strike him with her fists I took a step towards her and stood between the two.

“Hey, hey, hey, calm down. No need for violence. He opened the door, you taught him a lesson, and it’s all chill right?”

She looked at my eyes with her own hazel ones, took a moment to consider what I said and then stood up. She then put a caring hand around my shoulders and without saying a word pulled me back into town, where she placed me to sit on a wooden bench infront of a house and finally began speaking.

“What is your name?”

“Isabelle.”

“Look, Isabelle, this town is like a wild wolf. It looks nice and honorable and would not try to bite if it sees that you’re strong. But at the sight of the smallest weakness…” she clicked with her fingers. “It shall eat you alive. The guard there is not the first nor shall he be the last. Whatever business you have here complete it as fast as possible and begone.”

“Thank you. For helping me and for the warning.” I nodded and smiled.

“Are you here alone?”

“No. My companion’s is right at the inn.”  
“The Bee and the Barb? Allow me to walk you there. No offence but in this place even walking can’t be safe.”

“Yes, thank you, again.” I followed her as she stood up and marched on. “What’s your name?”

“Mjoll the Lioness.” She grinned the warmest of grins.

“It’s a pleasure, Mjoll.” I extended my arm. She gave me a funny look, so I took hers and shook it.

“I take it you’re not from around here?” 

“No, obviously. And you?”

“When I was a fresh-faced young woman I set off to travel the world searching for an adventure. I’ve been from Valenwood to Morrowind and all points between. However a few years ago I lost my blade, Grimsever, in a dwemer ruin. From this point on I settled in Riften and have been trying to help the city rebuild, however I have to admit it’s a slow and exhausting battle, more vicious than any dwemer centurion.”

“That sounds so noble. I guess the Thieves Guild is your enemy numero uno?”

She gave me a funny look and then nodded.

“They are like a tree’s root. One of many problems, all part of a net that is separate but connected. Where are you from, Isabelle?”

“Far away.” I chose against telling every person I met that I’m from another universe and all. Seems like the most sane option, right?

“I’ve traveled through and through however I can’t place your accent. Or your…” she shook her arms like I did a second ago. Fuck. Lesson number one: don’t shake people’s hands left and right.

“It’s…personal.”

“Oh, I did not mean to pry.”

“It’s fine, it’s fine.” We’ve reached the inn’s doors now and were going in. The woman did not stop to say goodbye but instead sat down on an empty table and I chose to sit down with her because why the hell not, I had time and she was nice.

“What do you do to help the city, Mjoll?” I asked her.

“What I did a moment ago.” The woman smiled, stretching the green warpaint that covered half her face. “I look over the people in this city and help whenever I can. Sometimes it’s something as easy as letting a helpless little girl inside the city, other times I have to go face to face with the bastards at the sewers.”

“My, you’re like a superhero.” I laughed and she joined me.

“A hero? I can’t say that I am a hero. I feel like I haven’t done enough to be called one.”

“Believe me, you’re a hero in my eyes. If it weren’t for you god knows when I would’ve entered the city. And I’m sure you’re a hero for other people too.”  
The blond woman looked at her feet for a moment, then glanced back at me and smiled a warm and sort of sad smile.

“Thank you, Isabelle. Anyway, I’ll be on my way-“

And mid sentence, mid getting up she stopped. Ganus Valen had appeared out of nowhere a mere centimeters besides the table with one hand on a chair and another holding a tankard.

“Valen.” She growled low. Ganus on the other hand put his drink on the table with a loud THUD and growled himself.

“Mjoll.”

“What are you doing here, footpad?”

“I was planning to enjoy a drink before I saw your mug.”

“Choose another table milk drinker.”

“This is mine, I’m afraid.”

“Hey, guys, chill. Mjoll, what’s the problem?”

The adventuress looked at me and shook her head.

“It’s always the lowest that pry on the weak. This one’s a predator of the same Guild that prevented you from walking in town.”

I found myself unable to answer. I sort of expected it, Ganus knew a guild member and apparently walked into their headquarters daily, so sure. From what he had shown until now though, he was a pretty generous and helpful dude. Unless that was a farce and he was scheming something, which was very worrying because my livelihood as of now literally depended on him.

“I’m not praying on anything but this tankard.” The elf furrowed his eyebrows and turned towards me.”Right, Iz?”

“Yeah.” I nodded. “I know him. He’s actually helped me a lot.”

“Really?” Mjoll was now towering above the table, her hazel eyes gazing right through me. I felt emberassed even though I didn’t even know why. “Be careful, Isabelle. The wolf always finds a weakness.” And with this she was gone. I sighted and sank deeper into my chair. 

“Of all the people you could find …” Ganus shook his head and took a swing from his tankard. “Anyway, got any progress or did you just have a bath?”  
“Yes. I managed to sneak in the meadery and speak to Dreth. He’ll come here after sundown with my phone.”

“So that’s what’s it called. Phaaa-oun” The dunmer hummed and I felt like slapping myself. I was truly, an idiot. “So what do we do, we wait for him to come, get him drunk, steal his keys, throw him in the sewers and ransack his house?”

“This is…oddly specific.” He shrugged.

“A man needs to always have a plan. “

I held my Game of Thrones reference between my teeth and instead answered.  
“He thinks we’ll be alone. So allow me to get him drunk and then get our stuff back. And no throwing people into sewers, please.”

“It’ll be fun. There are skeevers in there.” He wiggled his eyebrows but I did not understand neither what a skeever was nor how it’ll make this fun.

“Ganus.”

“ Joykiller.” He whined and took another swing from his drink. “Anyway, if you managed to get yourself a date with mister I am the ancestor of the Great Valen Dreth why were you hanging out with her?”

“You mean Mjoll? She helped me get inside the city. And she was really nice, I don’t see what’s your problem with her.”

“And what were you doing outside the city?”

“You’re avoiding my question.”

“And so are you.”

“Okay, I go first. I was outside the city because I had to escape from the meadery.”

“And you swam through Riften’s portion of lake Honrich?” the elf scrunched up his nose. “Sheogorath’s balls I should’ve told you. That’s where all the sewage goes.”  
I suddenly felt simultaneously like vomiting and running off to the nearest bath, wherever that was. Ganus must’ve seen the sheer horror in my face because he burst out in laugher, and as he was still laughing he stood up, said something to Keerava and sat back down. 

“She’ll get you a tub in a moment.” He said after he had calmed down a bit and then placed a small bag on the table. “You can put those too.”

I opened the back and saw a bunch of fabrics inside. Clothing. I looked up at him and almost forgot about Mjoll’s warning. 

“…Thank you.” I murmured. I couldn’t be angry at him for laughing after all this.

He just waved his hand like it was whatever and leaned in the table.

“So before you go and have your beauty treatment. Keep the dagger hidden under the dress just in case allright? I’ll be around, but still. Also, it’ll be best if you manage to get his house keys without confrontation. Much less consequences to worry about.”

“I thought you wanted to throw him in the sewage?” 

“Oh I will.” He smiled. “Just after we’ve done what needs to be done.”

“There’s no arguing it is there?”

“No.” he drank the last of the tankard and turned around to Keerava who was calling for him and then waved at me to go. 

 

The bath was not the most pleasant one. The tub which awaited me at our room was warm yeah, but the warmth faded quite fastly. I also had to run to Ganus for cleaning materials so now I smelled of a male dunmer. It wasn’t an unpleasing smell, but it wasn’t really my style, I preferred sweet smelling perfumes and shampoos next to a slab of soap that smelled of ash, spices and musk. Despite it all I was clean and now clothed like a normal Skyrim woman or whatever, with a white shirt underneath a long brown dress, a belt, boots and the good old cloak. It was so strange, wearing garments like that unironically, and the thought that I’ll have to wear stuff like that from now on was anything but odd. I was way too used to jeans and short dresses that even walking down the stairs proved to be a bit difficult because of the dress’s length. It was no dealbreaker or anything, I just needed a bit of getting used to it I guess. Like learning to swim, hopefully without my brother trying to batista bomb me into the water.  
When I walked back to the inn portion of the building Ganus was awaiting with a deep green leather book in hand which kind of surprised me. I didn’t see it along the other items in his bag. 

“What’s this?” I asked. He turned towards me, gave me a long stare down from head to toe, nodded and closed the book.  
“The Black Arrow. Volume one.”

“Can I see it?”

“Sure.”

I took the book in hands and was surprised right away by its weight. Even though it surely wasn’t more than 300 pages it weighted like an Encyclopedia Dramatica. When I opened it a distinct smell hit my nostrils. It did have this wooden smell that old books have but there was a hint of something else I could not quite put my finger on. The next thing I noticed was the script-neat and orderly, though at times the letter t and d were almost written the same which could mean only one thing-it was hand written. The cover was bound with leather which was, I assume, very real.

I went through the pages fastly. It was structured like a novel, that was set in Valenwood. A story about a duchess and some school of archers.

“Where did you get this?”

“At the book store?” he raised a perfectly black eyebrow.

“Do you have more?”

“I emptied my collection yesterday. But I was planning to get a few more tommorow before we set off to Winterhold.”

“Great! I can learn more about this universe like that.” I ran my hand through the cover of the novel and sighed. “God that looks ancient. No offence.”

“None taken. Wait, old? That’s a newly published copy.”

“It is? But the leather, and the smell….?”

“That’s how books smell? Or do books from your world smell different?”

“Yes, actually.” I took another whiff from the pages just to make sure. “Only super old books smell like that.”

“Sure.”

“…You don’t really believe my I come from another universe story, do you?”

He reached out to get his book back and ran through the pages in search of where he left off.  
“I’ve seen and heard many odd tales, but yours certainly tops most. Except that guy from Solitude that asked me to fetch Sheogorath for him. That guy was an absolute nutter.”

“So I’m…half a nutter?”

“Not telling the whole truth.” I went off to argue but he cut me off. “Which I understand. As long as you don’t try to slit my throat at night.”

“I’d never-”

“Your date’s here.” and suddenly he was standing up and going to a table snuck neatly in the farthest corner of the inn where he sat down and opened his book. Before I could assimilate a male’s voice called my name and I was standing face to face with Romlyn Dreth.


	4. I accidentally involve myself in criminal activity

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Isabelle is about to learn that following Ganus's plans is not really the best idea.

“Good evening, my lady.” He nodded as he sat down, two rounds of Black-Briar mead already in hands. The image of a man with poor hygiene, a neckbeard and fedora immediately popped up in my mind the second I heard the dreadful “m’lady”. I tried my best to use the smile that brought to my face like a welcoming smile towards the elf. Romlyn himself looked the same he looked like when I spoke to him back in the meadery. Sleazeball hadn’t even changed clothes.

At first I had a short freak out and thought for a second how little I knew of this world. All I knew were the deities and the countries and islands. What do I even tell him if he asks me something, anything? Ganus thought I was a Breton at first, but I couldn’t even remember the Breton’s country name, if they even had one. Did they? I was so dead.

….Or I could just let him speak. Yes, right. I won’t have to answer to anything and that’ll feed his ego. I am a genius I tell you.

“So let’s begin by telling a bit about eachother. Do you wish to start?”

“Of course, sera.” The white haired dunmer smiled ”I was born in the wondrous city of Blacklight, do you know where that is?”

“Capital of Morrowind?” I suggested. Ganus was from there too, in fact that was one of the first things he’d told me about himself. “How did you end up in Skyrim then?”

“Ah, it is a dreadfully long tale filled with pirates, ships and many, many escapes from Sithis’s dreadful grasp. It is not something to tell over a drink with a fine lady….unless you want to hear it.”

Who the fuck was Sithis.

“Oh, yes, I’d love to hear it!”

“It all began with my great, great grandfather, Valen Dreth. He was locked up in the Imperial prison in Cyrodill for a small, petty crime. But he was no ordinary man for he was surely kissed by lady Nocturnal for one faithful day….”

And thus began the story of how his great, great grandfather saved the emperor, but not really, then the world, but not really, then went off to create family in Morrowind which spanned into the adventures of his great grandfather, then his grandfather and by the time he began speaking about his father I already knew atleast five ways to stab a man in Blacklight and get away with it and honestly, I was about to do the same if that story continued. He was speaking about his father meeting saint Jiub or something and getting some legendary armor crafted for him when I couldn’t bare it any longer and excused myself so I could go to the toilet and rethink my existence and how to overcome the urge to stab a man.

However the moment I stood up he did so as well. I don’t know why so I looked him in the eyes, like I was expecting the answer would be written in there in small shrift or something. We just stood there, staring at eachother until he finally raised an eyebrow and made a hand motion towards the stairs.

What…was happening? Shit. Was it a cultural thing or something? My gaze went off to the table in the furthest corner where Ganus’s nose was so far deep into the book it was surprising it didn’t glitch out from the other side or something.

I went up the stairs with a hand hovering over my right boot, where my dagger stood hidden. I had not stepped on the last stair when I felt a smack on my ass. A rather strong one, may I add. I almost lost my balance and fell down the stairs cause of it, may I also add. So that was what the stare down was about. He thought he was getting laid.

“Hey, it came across my mind that we never had the chance to speak about my…item. Did your contacts find it?”

“Is that really what’s on your mind right now?” I felt a breath on my neck. It smelled heavily of alcohol. Shiiiiiiiiiit. 

“I do miss it a lot.”

“I can help you relax, if you so wish.” And here come the hands. I looked around. There was not a soul on the second floor. I slowly guided him to my room before things became ugly in the middle of the inn.

“I’d appreciate it, but the only thing that can help me is seeing it again.”

“You say that because you don’t know what I’m offering.”

We were in the room now. Thankfully he did not notice Ganus’s stuff, or if he did he did not mention it.  
I was in a….very bad spot. Both his hands were on my waist and I could feel him putting pressure as if he was trying to guide me somewhere, and I knew perfectly where that’d be so I tried to postpone it. For a moment I remembered Ganus’s words “It’ll be best if you manage to get his house keys without confrontation” so in a moment of sudden divine confidence and a dash of stupidity I turned around, turning him along with me and grabbed his hips in search for keys.

That seemed to please him greatly. He pushed me even further until I was backed up to a wall, but I cared little because what was important right now was getting these damn keys and getting the fuck out of here. It was when he started leaning over for a kiss when I realized that wait, no, I actually cared.

I dodged it masterfully but in doing so it managed to land on my neck. The moment it did he just pushed his entire body into mine like he was trying to suffocate me or something.

My search for the keys turned frantic. I could not breathe really well, and when I did I inhaled half the Black-Briar meadery’s winter reserve. His body was way too fucking heated so I was sweating too. And I’m not even going to go into all the uncomfortable shit that was happening on my neck area.  
Finally my hands touched metal and it made such a satisfying sound I could almost cry. It was in a pouch hovering on his belt. All I had to do was slither my fingers in, which he did not notice at all and…

Violá! 

Okay, keys acquired. Now what?

My mind jumped from one thing to another but did not manage to land to a single one because a certain elf’s hands had yet again found their way to my ass.

Mission abort, I repeat, mission abort.

“Hey, Romlyn…hey…HEY!”

“Yes, dear?”

“Do you mind getting me, uh..something, you know….special…from the inn?”

“What do you mean sera?”

“Oh, you know. Something special-special.” I winked. I had just pulled this out of my ass because there was no way in hell for me to think while he was all up in my face and everything. Thankfully he smiled that creepy ass smile from before and nodded.

“Don’t begin without me.”

“I wouldn’t even think about it.”

And thus he flew from the room as fast as the fucking flash.

Okay, okay, I had to think of something and think it now. I was alone with the key in that room but he was coming back soon. Should I hide it? But then what do I do when he comes back? No way in fucking hell was I going all the way through with that Romlyn thing. I needed to call Ganus, but how do I do that without Romlyn seeing me? Fuuuu-

Wait.

There was a window.

I looked over the street. My room was on the second floor and there was a bit of an extended roof which I guess would soften the fall. And if I make it so that I’ve entered the inn when Romlyn entered the room I could just grab Ganus and run…

Yes, jumping out of a window was the best option.

I carefully climbed, cursing my long dress. Somehow I made it out and from then I went immediately to the right, so that I could hear Romlyn going in. Meanwhile I prayed to the gods of this world which names I could remember. Azura was one. Talos was up in there too. Sheogorath. Akatosh. Whoever rules over the skies and flying and stuff. Lend this stupid, mortal human a hand.

Finally the room’s door squeaked and that was my queue to jump and jump I did. The stone cold rock hard bricks were hard to hit with both legs and arms, but somehow I managed with only a few scratches. I immediately ran to the inn, opened the door and met Ganus’s gaze before I had made a step further.

He jumped like a puma and before I could blink he was already dragging me along the streets of Riften by my hand. At first we just walked fastly but after we were outside the seeing range of the inn he started running and I had no other option but to follow. We went to the market, then we went around in what seemed like a circle and suddenly we were speeding down some stairs that went into a portion of the city that was no more than a palm above the water level. The smell of sewage suddenly grew stronger and I had to hold my breath before my stomach could show any physical protest. The streets were damp, and if the upper level of Riften was barely lit by the passing guard with a torch, here it was total and utter darkness. I followed glued behind Ganus with one hand holding the back of his armor just in case I lost him. Finally he stopped and turned towards me.

“Key.” He whispered. I gave it to him and after few metallic jingles a door creaked and he shoved me inside.

I could not see shit until an artificial ball of light flew from Ganus into the roof, lighting up the whole place. I was taken aback by it, mostly because it reminded me that hey, magic fucking existed in La La Land. However the second the dunmer casted the spell he was already elbow deep in the first barrel he could find and I made the mental note that perhaps I should help. So no matter how bad I felt about it, well, not really, I took a long breath and began rummaging.

The apartment itself was quite small. It basically consisted of one room which rocked a fire place, a bed, some book stands and a table with chairs put in such a way I imagined they were rarely used. I noticed a few books lying about as I was going through barrels of food when I felt someone tap on my shoulder and jumped almost to the ceiling. It was Ganus, of course. Ganus with a sour expression on his face that only made his already sharp features even more terrifying. 

“They’re not here.” He murmured. 

“What do we do then?”

“We go back to Romlyn. But first…” he took a long look around and nodded to himself, suddenly producing a sneer that was anything but malicious.  
“We have some fun.” He picked up a small yellow colored bottle and threw it at me. I grabbed it reluctantly and gave him a quizzed look. He then grabbed another, considered a bit and then threw it at me as well.

“Ganus….are you robbing the man?” I finally dared to ask, fighting against my desire to just book it.

“No. We are relieving a fool from a bunch of items he wouldn’t need. We are also enforcing karmic justice, so the gods would not have to waste their time.”

“Oh, god, you are robbing the man. I knew it.”

“You knew what?”

“You are a thief.” My stupid mouth decided to blabber. 

“Hmm? And does that bother you?”

“Oh, no, you do you boo. I’m not judging.” Damage control kicked right in. Ganus gave me a long, perplexed look, but then continued to pick and choose items around the house. “Hey, aren’t you worried he’s going to come?”

“We’re already here. Why should I?”

“He could call the guards?”

“We’d be out until they come.”

“I’d…rather not. I can’t see anything outside.”

He sighed.  
“Fine. Just let me….” He reached behind the bed and retrieved a big sack that jingled like gold and a book bound in bright orange tinted leather. “Yep, here it is. We can go now.”

I opened the door right away because I was standing just besides it. When we walked out Ganus took the keys and threw them in the fireplace.

“So are you sticking for the real fun?” his voice grated as we walked back to the upper level of the town. I stopped in my tracks and he followed. A guard walked by, his torch illuminating the street. The dunmer sat casually on a wooden ramp and I joined him. His eyes darted towards me and then towards my neck and then back at me.

“…please tell me you’re not talking about the dumping in the sewers part.”

A simple chuckle answered my question. 

“Dude…no. That’s just cruel.”

“Just Iz.” he whispered.

“But…”

“We need to make him sing one way or another. Otherwise we’ll never find my Razor and your phone. Unless that phone is not really that important to you?”

“It is, but throwing a man in the sewers? I mean, really? Can’t you just, I don’t know, threaten him a bit or something?”

“I could cut off some fingers…” the dunmer evaluated quietly.

“What!? No, I meant with words, threaten him with words! For example you can tell him you’ll cut off his fingers, but not actually cut off his fingers.”

“Then how will he know I’m serious?” there was a genuine curiosity in Ganus’s look. That guy was for real. Sweet baby Jesus, what kind of a person have I involved myself with?

“Okay, you win. We’ll throw him in the sewers. Though I don’t know how’ll that make him confess.”

“You’ll see.”

“…It doesn’t involve a threat to anyone’s life, right?”

“Maybe?” he was grinning, the asshole. 

“Which is the less murdery option- if you threatened him or if you threw him in the sewers?”

The man tilted his head in a perplexed motion.

“Which option is less likely to put us in jail? Is there even jail in here? Oh god. Which breaks the law more? Wait, that’s a stupid question. I mean-“

“If we threw him in the sewers it’d take him more time to tell the authorities, if that’s what you’re afraid of. Also we won’t be directly responsible for any injuries.” Ganus cut off my anxious ramblings. 

“Okay. Okay. I can’t believe I’m agreeing with this. Jesus. How do we do that though?”

“You go back and tell him to follow you.” He nodded towards the Bee and the Barb and I sighed and headed towards it. Romlyn was not on the first level which meant he was probably waiting in my room which meant that inevitable trouble was ahead. Despite both my body and soul’s objections I climbed the stairs and opened the door where I was met by a half naked mer lounging on Ganus’s bed with a finger dapped in a wooden bowl.  
He moved a bit, enough so he could see me, and then waved for me to come. I hesitated at first but when I saw how slow his movement was I decided that I could avoid any potential harm so I went closer. He offered me the bowl, where a bunch of pale white and salmon meat colored rocks stood. I gave him a puzzled look.

“You wanted the special stuff, no?” he grinned. I saw a hand moving in slow motion towards my hips and evaded it ever so swiftly.  
“Yeah, sure, but why don’t we change the setting?”

“Why? Here’s perfect.”

“I can’t relax here. Why don’t we go out?”

“Go in, go to room, go get the special stuff, now go out…” Romlyn whined but he did get up as slowly as humanly, or should I say elfishly, possible. He then suddenly gained the speed of a panther and tackled me to the nearby wall effectively taking the air out of my lungs. I felt each and every bone on my back grate onto the wood as I tried fruitlessly to escape his grip around my neck. “Quit screwing around and tell me why did you take me here.”

SHIIIII-

“I-No! I just need some fresh ai-“

“You were already out, I saw you. You just want that ingot don’t you?”

“I-“

His hand began squeezing, effectively stopping the air I had left in my lungs and the other grabbed a single pale rock from the wooden bowl and moved it so close to my lips I could almost taste it. The way that was done suggested that I should probably not do that.

“Just say the truth so we can be done here.”

I have to admit, I panicked. I did not expect this kind of treatment. I started trashing about, trying to free myself but he only applied more strength to the point I was chocking. I almost managed to pry the pale rock from his fingers and threw it on the floor. 

Then I screamed. No “help me” or “save me”, just a pure, barbaric scream. The hand around my neck only tightened but that just made me scream harder.

Suddenly I felt much, much lighter and my neck felt much freer. I opened my eyes and saw Romlyn being tackled on the ground by Ganus. Even though he had all these dagger on him as well as a full blown sword his hands were bare and he already had the white haired elf in a headlock. One swift movement followed by a soft crack and the offending elf ceased to move. The air in my lungs evaporated once again as if I was still being chocked.

“You…You killed him!” I barely whispered. My heart rate increased by the second so fast my whole chest was beating like a war drum.

“He’s just unconscious.” Ganus said casually, as if he was noting the weather. He fastly rummaged through the mer’s pockets and then turned towards me. “ Bvek, they’re not on him. So he had to have hidden them somewhere that’s not his house. Or sold them. So sewers it is. Can you help me with the legs?”

“I…” I couldn’t finish the sentence because honestly, I didn’t know anymore. My whole body was shaking like a leaf, my back hurt, my throat was sore and my head was feeling somewhat light. Adrenalin pumped through my blood so I stood up and tried to walk around but Ganus stopped me. He then raised the unconscious dunmer’s hand and mimicked the sleaziest voice one can think of:

“Help that honorable mer throw me in the garbage where I belong, wouldn’t you, sweet’eart?”

An involuntary chuckle escaped me, yet I puffed up my cheeks and shook my head.  
“That’s not funny.”

“Is that so?” Ganus continued his ventriloquist show and shoved the guy’s hands around my waist. I slapped them. “Do the stories of my grand grand grand grand grand father not excite you, my fair lady?”

“How do you-“

“He tells that swell to everyone.” Ganus broke out of character. “So are you gonna help me carry the legs or…?”

“He looks a bit too heavy. And I’m not really miss Muscle.”

“Okay then miss Just Iz, leave the honorable Ganus do all the hard work.” he made Romlyn fake bow and then stood up and threw him across his right shoulder. He then stepped in the window frame and swiftly as a cat jumped down the street.

I took a deep breath before I followed. My second jump was even worse than the last one. Also I certainly scraped my knee. So much for the new dress.

“What in Oblivion….!?” Someone screamed and when I turned my head I was met by the same city guard that passed us earlier. He was still holding the torch with one hand but the other was now hovering around the sword on his belt, eyes glued to Ganus who was still holding the unconscious mer.

“Fella had too much to drink.” The dunmer somehow shrugged even though he was holding a grown man on his shoulders.

“Then why did you go through the window?” the guard was closing the distance between them, hand now firmly grasping his weapon.

“To spare him the humiliation.”

“I don’t believe you. Hey, weren’t you that guy that-“

“RUN!” Ganus yelled as he shoved his leg in the guard’s loins. The man screamed and fell to his knees, but before he could draw his weapon he received another hit on the head and fell unconscious to the ground.

I ran after Ganus who somehow managed to carry the elf and run with the speed of a flying bird. We ran back to the lower portion of the town where, again, I had to ask him to slow down so I can hold on his armor in case I fell down. 

Even though the lake itself certainly was dirty enough we walked even more before Ganus opened a steel door and led me through steep corridors made of moss and stone. Finally he stopped to a place that stood a few meters higher than the rest of the room which was steeped in darkness, though I could certainly hear some sort of commotion happening on the floor under us.

“I can’t see anything.” I complained. A small ball of fire escaped Ganus’s hand and fell on the lower floor revealing atleast a dozen of the biggest, gangliest and ugliest rodents I’ve ever had the misfortune of seeing. The moment the fire lit them up they started screeching like a hot air balloon and jumping about. One almost managed to climb the platform, which is when I safely calculated they were atleast the size of a well fed dachshund.

I screamed.

“Shhh!” Ganus shushed me. “You’ll anger them.”

“Aren’t they-”

“Nah, they’re just sort of irritated that I woke them up. “ The dunmer put the unconscious elf on the edge and gifted him with a hard kick to the head. He then caught him by the arms and dangled him to the flock of demonic rodents underneath. The man murmured something to himself as he reentered the land of the awake and immediately screamed as he saw the rodents that were one determined jump away from latching onto his legs. 

“Hey now, stop screaming.” Ganus lifted him up a bit so the spawn of the fucking devil could not really reach him. “Unless you’d be telling us where our stuff is. Then you can scream all you want.”

“Who- V-Valen!? What are you-!?”

“You stole something of mine, you n’wah.” Ganus’s voice lowered to a degree where he sounded more like a demon than a mortal. Man, was I lucky that he was on my side. “Where’s the Razor?”

“-And the ingot.” I added.

“And the ingot.” 

“Look, if I knew-“ the mer began but Ganus had no patience and dipped him into the hellhole. I saw a single rodent make a remarkably swift jump, catching onto his right foot and hanging from it by its teeth. Romlyn began screaming. My gut immediately turned upside down at the sight. This was torture.

“I told you to stop screaming.” Ganus hissed and lowered him further. Another rodent made a jump for it but missed with an inch. 

“I sold them! I’m sorry, please, I didn’t-“

“To whom?”

“I don’t know! He is- he is not from here!”

“Didn’t you get his name?”

“No. But…He’s a Breton and was wearing a conjurer’s cloak. Black. He speaks slurred and has this beautiful mage staff on him.”

“Did he tell you where he was going, why did he buy from you, anything?”

“He mentioned Riverwood. That’s all I know so please-“

“Thank you.” And with that Ganus kicked him in the head and threw him in the rat infested sewage. He dropped with a clear splash and the rats went hysterical. I averted my eyes as soon as the man began screaming and started going back. I couldn’t bare this anymore. It was horrific. 

I was headed back to the Bea and the Barb when Ganus stopped me and reminded me that he assaulted a guard, so it’d be best if we don’t show our noses while he’s still out there. He beckoned me back into the sewage entrance and I couldn’t help but furrow my eyebrows in disgust.

“Are you for real?”

“Yes, I am indeed real. Come on, before the other patrols get to us. We’ll be there only until sunrise.”

“No. Not getting back there.”

“We’re not going to be camping in the sewage, if that’s what you’re thinking. We’ll be in the Ratway.”

“And you think that sounds better because…?”

“Ah, I keep forgetting you’re from Another world.” The dunmer emphasized on the last part by wiggling his hands in the air as if he was describing some made up magical land which, as far as I was concerned, could probably be how he looked at it. “By the Ratway I mean the entrance to the Thieves Guild. There’s this nice tavern we can stay at until the danger’s passed.”

“Didn’t you tell me that itd be dangerous for me to enter Thieves Guild territory?”

“Getting caught by guards would be more inconvenient.” 

Inconvenient? He called jail inconvenient!?  
“Fine. Let’s go.”

“Wait.” He stopped me as soon as we reentered the sewers “You look like an easy target like that.”

“Like what?”

“Like yourself. Give me a second.” He took out his dagger and made a small cut across his finger. He then proceeded to smear blood on my face.

“WHAT THE FU-“

“Take this and keep it in your hand.” The dunmer then gave me the bloody dagger. “And if you make a nasty look that’d be perfect.”

“A what-… Wait, wait. Ooooh, you’re disguising me so I fit in.”

“Not that it’ll help much. But it’s worth trying.” He shrugged. “Also take the jewelry off.”

“Of course.” I placed my earrings in the pouch that hung around my hips. I also messed my hair a bit and proceeded to do my best Rambo impression “Is that good?”

Ganus stared at me for a moment with a look on his face it’d only describe as Not convinced at all. He then sighed and told me to follow him.

**Author's Note:**

> Hey dear readers! Thank you for suffering my terrible bilengual monstrosity of text!
> 
> This is my first work ever, so I am very nervious about posting it online but alas, my writer's virginity had to be taken. English is not my first language and i may have made some, few, allright- a lot- of mistakes. I'd really appreciate it if you find the time to write what you thought, any critique is welcomed!
> 
> Love y'all!


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